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American Immigrant |
American Immigrant Valeria Calder-Pretto Last week my husband and I hosted Thanksgiving at our home. My mom and my in-laws were our guests; we shared a nice meal and did the usual talking at the table after eating. We ended up talking about the kind of kids our parents were growing up and the earlier years of their lives. Obviously, I have talked about this with my mom in the past and I knew general details about her life such as where she grew up and what school she attended. As part of our “table talk,” I realized there were other things that she had never shared with me. For example, I never knew my mom’s first job was translating magazine articles in a factory. Although it was entertaining to hear these stories, the real benefit of this interaction is that it allowed us to learn more about our parents as individuals. This is especially important as the role between us and our parents begins to shift. That is, we no longer only have a parent-child relationship but a relationship between adults who must respect and understand each other. As we grow up it can be hard to understand our parents’ motivations and reactions. Therefore the more we learn about our parents, the closer we can get to having a real understanding of who they are as people. So as the Holidays approach and we inevitably spend more time with family, I recommend making the effort to learn about your family members’ lives. This is especially important for those of us with family members who grew up in a different country. Take a moment to ask them about their childhood, learn the name of their first pet, hear about their first job, and finding out who they looked up to most. In doing so, you will most likely learn something interesting about them. More importantly, you will likely gain insight into the events and people that played an important role in molding your loved ones. This kind of insight can help take your relationship to a new level and allow you to enjoy the Holidays a little bit more. |